dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
