i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
