her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
