This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
