4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
