Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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