Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
