I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
