bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
