but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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