Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
