i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
