I can text with my tongue
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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