Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
