I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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