ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I looked at my own cervix.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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