i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
