so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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