Absence makes the cock grow harder.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
