How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
