There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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