That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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