Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
