I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
