Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
