Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
