It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
