You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize