I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
