...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
