so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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