i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
