I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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