i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
