Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
