the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
