butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
