I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
her vagine was all disorganized.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
