I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
whose parrot is this?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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