i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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