at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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