Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
