I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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