she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
