he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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