i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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