We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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