I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
