i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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