Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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